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Star-Crossed and Loving It

In honor of Valentine's Day, let's revisit one of the most famous couples in the love-story canon: Romeo and Juliet. Remember how the prologue to Shakespeare's play introduces them? "From forth the fatal loins of these two foes / A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life."

Star-cross'd! Isn't it romantic?

Well, no. Not to Shakespeare, who's credited with coining the phrase: his audience, and audiences for more than three centuries afterward, understood "star-crossed" to mean "thwarted by fate." "Crossed" meant "deceived," as in "double-crossed."

But in recent years something curious has been happening to "star-crossed": for many writers, it's become a wholly positive adjective, delightful rather than dire. What's going on?

Take a look at these examples and see if you can figure it out:

  • The American greeting-card company Papyrus sells a Valentine's Day card called "Star Crossed Lovers." The outside of the card bears a pretty painting of a heart-shaped constellation; the text inside reads: You are the stars in my sky, you are my everything / Happy Valentine's Day with all my love.
  • A Boston restaurant, Tryst, is running a Valentine's Day promotion that includes "the romantic Star Crossed Lovers" cocktail, meant to be enjoyed by two smitten people. The ingredients do not include a vial of poison.
  • A hotel in Vero Beach, Florida, issued this press release in 2011: "Star-Crossed Lovers Get Tarot Cards and Star Maps for V-Day at the Vero Beach Hotel."
  • A press release from Tiny Prints, "your source for fresh and modern stationery and gifts," includes this line: "Not just for star-crossed lovebirds and those in the business of selling chocolates and roses, Valentine's Day is for everyone."
  • The Stardome, a planetarium in Auckland, is hosting a special event on February 14: "Calling all star-crossed lovers … this Valentine's Day, love is in the stars at Stardome."
  • In London, the Peacock Bar offers "hugely popular dating and romantic cocktail classes … for star crossed lovers and wannabe star crossed lovers." 

And it's not only humans that can be happily star crossed. In 2000, the Independent (UK) published a story about a successful space mission. The headline: "Star crossed spacecraft nears Valentine's date." I repeat: the mission was a success.

How did "star-crossed" morph from tragic to cheery? I have a few theories.

For starters, although modern Westerners are fond of astrology—there's a horoscope in virtually every daily newspaper in the United States—we've mostly lost the concept of an "unlucky star." (Note: In India, where astrology is taken more seriously and caste can still pull sweethearts apart, "star-crossed" is used in its original, tragic sense.) The astrologically inclined may blame the cosmos for fleeting snafus, but horoscopes steer well clear of "You will marry your mother and murder your father." Not coincidentally, destiny—which, historically and etymologically, signifies a firmly established lot in life—is now considered within mortal control; "fate" is often just a synonym for "the future." That notion has been gaining ground since "Invictus," the 1875 poem by William Ernest Henley, whose much-quoted final couplet reads "I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul."

Second, even if you happen to recognize "star-crossed lovers" as a line from Romeo and Juliet, you may be a little fuzzy about the play's last act, which does not end with "happily ever after." For much of the English-speaking world, Romeo and Juliet are simply symbols of passionate young love.

Then there are the overwhelmingly positive connotations of star in our everyday language, from swashbuckling (Star Wars, Star Trek) to admiring ("You're a rock star!" uttered as a casual compliment). If we're ambitious we aim for the stars; if we follow celebrities we're starstruck. Some writers use "star-crossed" as a synonym for "starry-eyed"—that is, naïvely optimistic—as in this sentence in a sports story published on a Fox TV website: "Don't blame Giants offensive lineman if he might have seemed a tad star-crossed at the prospect of being apart [sic] of Super Bowl XLVI."

Finally, there's some sonic blurring of "crossed" and "kissed." As Yale University linguist Laurence Horn pointed out to me in an email, "star-kissed" occasionally appears as a variant of "star-crossed" and is more likely to be interpreted as a simple positive. An amusing interchange in a recently published romance novel, Borrowing a Bachelor, makes the confusion explicit:

"I don't know." She shook her head and looked out over the bay again. "Maybe we're just"—she gestured with her glass—"star-kissed lovers."

"Um, I think that's star-crossed lovers," Adam said, struggling to keep a straight face.

"That's what I said."

"Nope. You said star-kissed."

"Oh. Well, doesn't that sound more romantic?"

Actually, it sounds like a brand of canned tuna to me.

When I first began seeing "star-crossed" where I'd have expected, say, "starry-eyed," I chalked it up to user error. Now I'm not so sure. We accept that words may change their meanings over time: silly once meant "happy," happy originally meant "lucky." So why make a fuss when an idiom undergoes a semantic shift? It's been happening for quite a while, after all, with another famous line from Romeo and Juliet, "Wherefore are thou Romeo?" Hardly anyone now knows (or cares) that wherefore means why; the word it sounds to modern ears like a fancied-up where, which is why a modern speaker of English may think that Juliet is asking for Romeo's coordinates, not wishing he had a different name.

On the other hand, I doubt that I'll be wishing anyone a "star-crossed Valentine's Day." Not this year, anyway.


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Nancy Friedman is the chief wordworker at verbal-branding consultancy Wordworking, and the author of a fine blog on naming, branding and more called Fritinancy. Nancy has named a venture-capital firm, a laser hair-removal device, a mobile-money service, and many other companies and products. A former journalist, she still writes or ghostwrites articles, speeches, white papers, and books. Click here to read more articles by Nancy Friedman.

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Comments from our users:

Tuesday February 14th 2012, 9:53 AM
Comment by: Spock2008 (Buckland, AK)
Star-crossed in this day means bright and shiny on the outside but dark and sinister on the inside?
Tuesday February 14th 2012, 6:33 PM
Comment by: James H. (Toronto Canada)Visual Thesaurus Contributor
Hmm… is the shift in sense a dis-aster?

There are so many people who think "wherefore art thou Romeo" means "where are you, Romeo," along with "star-crossed" and many another example of misconstrual of the Bard's Early Modern English, that I think we will end up needing to treat Shakespearean as a foreign language.
Tuesday February 14th 2012, 8:27 PM
Comment by: Lily T. (Mesilla, NM)
Fascinating!! I always assumed wherefore was a fancy where...but saying "Why" makes more sense. Thanks, Nancy! Loved the article!
Wednesday February 15th 2012, 12:11 PM
Comment by: Mike P. (Seattle, WA)Visual Thesaurus Contributor
I'm glad you mentioned "wherefore"; I work with a guy who's a PhD in history (i.e., is a smart and well-read guy) to whom the distinction between "where" and "wherefore" was news. It surprised me to learn how widespread this confusion is.

Now I'm wondering whether (as you suggest) people widely believe that "Romeo and Juliet" is just a romance. Hmm.

I'm also pleased that your point about "happy" made me realize that the "hap-" in "happy" is also the "hap-" in "hapless." Dang, words are fun.
Thursday February 16th 2012, 11:12 AM
Comment by: John S.
A quick Google search for "star-crossed lovers" indicates that most definitions still adhere to the tragic connotation. I still think your user error theory holds up: careless copywriters throwing anything out that they think has a good ring to it, propagating mass misuse.
Friday January 24th, 12:25 PM
Comment by: Nancy FriedmanVisual Thesaurus Contributor
Update: Star-Crossed Heels from the retailer Anthropologie. ("A peep toe pair of gilded leather, these rendezvous-ready heels will leave more than a few heads turned.") In this case, the copywriter probably wanted to suggest the sparkly appearance of the leather rather than an unlucky twist of the ankle.

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