"Hoot" by Carl Hiaasen, Chapters 1–3

The policeman couldn’t see what there was to be vandalized on the property, which was basically a few acres of scraggly weeds.

You can’t have vandalism without monetary damages, and if nothing on the property was broken or defaced....

Ironically, Garrett’s mother was a guidance counselor at Trace Middle. Roy figured she used up her guiding skills every day at school and was too worn out to deal with Garrett when she got home.

Garrett looked skeptical. “An outlaw? You mean like Jesse James?”

It was the same answer he gave on the school bus when Dana Matherson accosted him on his first day, and from then on Roy was “Tex” or “cowgirl” or “Roy Rogers-hardt.”

“He says your attack was unprovoked.”

“You could’ve really hurt me,” she said.
Roy felt uncomfortable being confronted by a girl.

Curly’s shiny head bobbed in indignation.

Roy thought it was a good opportunity to renew his plea for leniency.

“Because this is assault,” Mr. Eberhardt said. “You can’t choke another person. It’s against the law.”

“Liz, you should call the school tomorrow,” Mr. Eberhardt said to Mrs. Eberhardt, “and find out if — and how — this boy will be disciplined for attacking Roy.”

Every night before turning off the lights, Roy would lie on his pillow and stare at the poster, imagining that he was the sinewy young bull rider in the picture.

It was exactly the sort of idiotic stunt that Dana Matherson would try, Roy thought as he contemplated his apology letter.

Normally an officer of his rank wouldn’t get involved in such a silly case, but the company building the pancake franchise had some clout with local politicians.

“Okay,” said Officer Delinko, rubbing his chin, “so then, how about a disgruntled customer? Maybe someone who once had a bad breakfast at a Mother Paula’s!”