contributorMark Peters
Mark Peters is a language columnist, lexicographer, and humorist who has written for Esquire, The Funny Times, New Scientist, Psychology Today, Salon, and Slate. He contributes to OUPblog and writes the Best Joke Ever column for McSweeney's. You can read Mark's own jokes on Twitter, such as, "I play by my own rules, which is probably why no one comes to my board game parties anymore."Evasive ManeuversEuphemisms old and newUnidentified Aerial Horse Apples  October 9, 2019
Whether the aliens who will someday destroy humanity are first labeled UFOs, UAPs, or OH CRAPs, the human race continues to produce euphemisms faster than a bug-eyed space monster gets pink eye. So wrap your eyeballs around these horse dumplings while you can.
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Article Topics:Evasive ManeuversEuphemisms old and newProfessional Disharmony Synergies and Other Gobbledygook September 11, 2019
English never lets you down, as long as you don't expect it to tell the truth. Here's a cavalcade of caca for you.
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Article Topics:Evasive ManeuversEuphemisms old and newInterior Enforcement and Other Freedom Logs August 7, 2019
Please enjoy the newest and cluelessest lexical cloaking devices that shine a spotlight on the very malarkey they try to hide.
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Article Topics:Evasive ManeuversEuphemisms old and newEuphemism of the Year? Spreading Freedom Pucky July 9, 2019 By Mark Peters
Freedom gas. Molecules of freedom. In appreciation of these insane terms, I'd like to look at some past terms that freedom has spawned in the cesspool of English.
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Evasive ManeuversEuphemisms old and newInaccurate Refrains and Other False Notes June 11, 2019 By Mark Peters
If only all reprehensible rewordings were satirical rather than serious. But as long as homo sapiens hem and haw and holler horse apples, I'll be on the job, collecting those apples in my train of twaddle.
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Evasive ManeuversEuphemisms old and newPro-informed Partisan Palaver Starring Heckboy May 9, 2019 By Mark Peters
I dunno if dueling fact perceptions is an iota less ridiculous than partisan facts, or the ever-popular alternative facts. Any way you slice it, you're choosing to live in a thin bubble of baloney. Speaking of baloney, the drivel deli is always open here at Evasive Maneuvers.
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Evasive ManeuversEuphemisms old and newMephitic Weasels in the Garden House April 5, 2019 By Mark Peters
Here are some of the latest and non-greatest lengths your fellow hairless apes have gone to not say what they mean.
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