contributorMark Peters
Mark Peters is a language columnist, lexicographer, and humorist who has written for Esquire, The Funny Times, New Scientist, Psychology Today, Salon, and Slate. He contributes to OUPblog and writes the Best Joke Ever column for McSweeney's. You can read Mark's own jokes on Twitter, such as, "I play by my own rules, which is probably why no one comes to my board game parties anymore."Evasive ManeuversEuphemisms old and newLess-Transparent, Potentially Recyclable Candidates for the Bin Pod  March 16, 2020
Are you having a rebuilding year? Whether you're building, rebuilding, reloading, unloading, or just slowly turning to dust, euphemisms are a proven distraction from the perils of your own life.
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Article Topics:Dog EaredBooks we loveDennis Baron's "What's Your Prounoun? Beyond He & She" is a Timely Winner February 27, 2020 By Mark Peters
Thanks to the prominence of pronouns and the depth of Baron's work, a Tour of the History of Nonbinary Pronouns is probably going to be the language book of the year.
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Rejoice! There's a new candidate for Euphemism of the Year, Drivel of the Decade, and Malarkey of the Millennium.
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Article Topics:Evasive ManeuversEuphemisms old and newFinding (or Inventing) Euphemisms in the Latest OED Update November 13, 2019 By Mark Peters
Here's a look at the OED's latest quarterly update to see if there are any euphemisms. If not, I'll suggest how some of the terms could be euphemisms. After all, this column is an offering to the Malarkey Gods.
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Article Topics:Evasive ManeuversEuphemisms old and newUnidentified Aerial Horse Apples October 9, 2019 By Mark Peters
Whether the aliens who will someday destroy humanity are first labeled UFOs, UAPs, or OH CRAPs, the human race continues to produce euphemisms faster than a bug-eyed space monster gets pink eye. So wrap your eyeballs around these horse dumplings while you can.
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Article Topics:Evasive ManeuversEuphemisms old and newProfessional Disharmony Synergies and Other Gobbledygook September 11, 2019 By Mark Peters
English never lets you down, as long as you don't expect it to tell the truth. Here's a cavalcade of caca for you.
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Article Topics:Evasive ManeuversEuphemisms old and newInterior Enforcement and Other Freedom Logs August 7, 2019 By Mark Peters
Please enjoy the newest and cluelessest lexical cloaking devices that shine a spotlight on the very malarkey they try to hide.
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