Rejoice! There's a new candidate for Euphemism of the Year, Drivel of the Decade, and Malarkey of the Millennium.  Continue reading...

Here's a look at the OED's latest quarterly update to see if there are any euphemisms. If not, I'll suggest how some of the terms could be euphemisms. After all, this column is an offering to the Malarkey Gods.  Continue reading...

Whether the aliens who will someday destroy humanity are first labeled UFOs, UAPs, or OH CRAPs, the human race continues to produce euphemisms faster than a bug-eyed space monster gets pink eye. So wrap your eyeballs around these horse dumplings while you can.  Continue reading...

English never lets you down, as long as you don't expect it to tell the truth. Here's a cavalcade of caca for you.  Continue reading...

Please enjoy the newest and cluelessest lexical cloaking devices that shine a spotlight on the very malarkey they try to hide.  Continue reading...

Freedom gas. Molecules of freedom. In appreciation of these insane terms, I'd like to look at some past terms that freedom has spawned in the cesspool of English.  Continue reading...

If only all reprehensible rewordings were satirical rather than serious. But as long as homo sapiens hem and haw and holler horse apples, I'll be on the job, collecting those apples in my train of twaddle.  Continue reading...