I'd give a kidney if there were no more euphemisms, but then I'd be out of a job, so let me rethink that. In the meantime, here are some euphemisms — all harvested fresh and ready to transplant into your interoffice memos and supersized tweets.  Continue reading...

A high percentage of that malarkey consists of euphemisms, which is why we could probably develop fusion energy by harnessing the grave-spinning of George Orwell.  Continue reading...

Don't want to be known as a climate change denier? Call yourself a climate change agnostic. I can't deny that there's a metric tuchus-load of euphemisms out there, because the evidence is enough to overwhelm a drivel agnostic.  Continue reading...

Are you scared of group warfare? You should be, because group is now a euphemism for gang. Anyhoo, here's your monthly meal of weak words I caught in my lexical lobster trap. All these words are safe for home use: they have no sharp edges or blunt meanings whatsoever.  Continue reading...

Are you so worried about global warming you can't carbon-restrain yourself? If so, you have a vocabulary term in common with Energy Secretary Rick Perry. This term, and the other euphemisms collected here, are real but insubstantial, like a vengeful ghost or stubborn denial of science.  Continue reading...

One purpose of slang is to keep illegal doings off the radar of any noisy bystanders, especially cops. So even though slang and euphemisms tend to be on opposite ends of the honesty scale, they can both be used as cloaking devices.  Continue reading...

Do you have a transfusion specialist? Transfusion specialist is a euphemism for blood boy: a young, healthy fella who the wealthy pay for their invigorating blood. This term comes from the land of fiction, but treating youthful blood as a fountain of youth is all-too-real. Whether you're young enough to sell your blood for a pretty penny or old enough to prey on the young like Nosferatu, I hope you can appreciate a heaping helping of hokum.  Continue reading...