Are you scared of group warfare? You should be, because group
is now a euphemism for gang
. Anyhoo, here's your monthly meal of weak words I caught in my lexical lobster trap. All these words are safe for home use: they have no sharp edges or blunt meanings whatsoever.
Are you so worried about global warming you can't carbon-restrain
If so, you have a vocabulary term in common with Energy Secretary Rick Perry. This term, and the other euphemisms collected here, are real but insubstantial, like a vengeful ghost or stubborn denial of science.
One purpose of slang is to keep illegal doings off the radar of any noisy bystanders, especially cops. So even though slang and euphemisms tend to be on opposite ends of the honesty scale, they can both be used as cloaking devices.
Do you have a transfusion specialist
? Transfusion specialist
is a euphemism for blood boy
: a young, healthy fella who the wealthy pay for their invigorating blood. This term comes from the land of fiction, but treating youthful blood as a fountain of youth is all-too-real. Whether you're young enough to sell your blood for a pretty penny or old enough to prey on the young like Nosferatu, I hope you can appreciate a heaping helping of hokum.
By now, you've likely heard about an awful incident in which a man was viciously dragged off an overbooked United flight. You've likely also heard about the euphemism United CEO Oscar Munoz used in the immediate aftermath: "I apologize for having to re-accommodate these customers." Deep down, we're all clueless airline executives. When we're ashamed or just want to dodge blame, we use or concoct terms that create a bubble of balderdash around the truth. Here are some of the latest and lamest.
Just as enhanced
is a term that attracts euphemisms like catnip attracts cats and cats attract YouTube views, alternative
is no newcomer to the euphemism game.
Though I made a case for alt-right
as 2016's Euphemism of the Year, the American Dialect Society went in another direction, those rascals! They selected locker-room talk
, which is a pretty solid euphemism, though I'm not sure it made the top ten twaddlesome terms of 2016. This year is young, but there's already a candidate I suspect everyone and their uncle is going to support or at least suggest for 2017's euphemism of the year: alternative facts